Leah's Hope
by J.C. Conner
Summary: "Maybe death will be better than life." Attempted suicide, sex, and love.Friendship/Hurt/Comfort/Romance. Post Eclipse. The developing relationship of Leah Clearwater and Jacob Black as they deal with love, death, and of course vampires.
1. Chapter 1

**Leah**

Sam loved Leah. Leah brings Emily. Sam falls for Emily. Sam dumps Leah. Leah becomes useless to Sam.

How could Sam do that to me? And Emily? We were like sisters!

I sat on the couch watching "The Notebook". As if this damn romance stuff doesn't drive me into an early grave. Mom was shopping in Seattle, Dad was getting cold in his grave and Seth was hanging with the pack. I fucking hate love. I'm so sick of listening to Sam's every though of Emily, Jared on Kim, Paul on Rebecca, and Quil with Claire. The girl is two years old! I hate being alone. I hate the pain in my heart. I hate my own life. I'm a genetic dead end!

True love my ass.

Maybe death would be better than life.

I got up from the couch. Without even thinking, I picked up the vase that was sitting on the coffee table and threw it at the T.V. and started screaming. Then I was crying.

"Damn you, SAM ULEY!" I yelled.

This was too much for me to handle. If I have to look at another happy couple, I swear to God, on my father's grave, I WILL DIE.

Better yet, I go on and do the damn deed myself. It's not like the pack would care. I don't blame them. I was a total bitch to all of them, bringing up some things that better left forgotten. Like Sam and me.

Yeah, I'll just go kill myself.

But first, there's something I needed to do before I die.

**Later….**

I phased into a wolf in order to get to Jake's house a lot faster. It was only what 5 minutes of running.

I turned back into human, but I was now naked. It really doesn't matter anymore, its not like I'll need clothes for what I'm about to do.

Jacob came to the door. The only thing he was wearing was those cut off jeans.

"Leah?" He said. "What are you doing here and why are you naked?"

I took a deep breath. "I want you to screw me."

Jacob's eyes went wide. "..."

I smack my lips. "Do I have to spell it out? I. WANT. YOU. TO. SCREW. ME."

In frustration, I kissed him roughly. If I was going to kill myself, then I need to make this a quickie.

He hesitated for a moment before slipping his tongue into my mouth. Jake grabs my butt roughly and I moaned in his mouth. I nearly lost it when Jake grinds his pelvis into mines. I was pulling his hair, trying to get closer to him when he lifted me easily, backing us into the kitchen. The only sounds were the panting of our breath, the wet sound of our lips meeting over and over. He sat me on the counter, his tongue sliding deeper into my mouth as he moved closer.

I pushed my hips toward Jake, wanting him inside of me. "Please…" I managed to utter.

He thrust into me fast and hard. My head fell back, banging against the cabinet as he began pounding into me.

He scooped his arm under my one knee, lifting it and holding it to the side to spread me further. His other arm was a tight band around my back, his hand cupping my backside. I was bracing my weight with one hand, the other alternating scratching at his back in bliss and pulling his hair as he grunted with the effort.

He was filling me again and again, and our moans were getting louder. Suddenly his hips became more frenzied, thrusting faster and harder each time. When his mouth moved back to mine, I bit his lip as he drove me closer to the edge. My right heel was digging into his backside trying to bring him impossibly closer.

"J-Jake… please…" I panted.

"So tight…" Jake groans.

His fingers moved in circles around the sensitive nub, gently pinching me. I cried out, about to fall over the edge, when I felt his teeth and lips close over my nipple. I let out a scream as all the feelings zigzagging through my body coalesced right between my thighs and caused me to explode in thigh-quivering bliss.

I felt dizzy. And incredibly hot.

This was the best I ever had. Jake was way better than Sam. Then again it's been three years since I got laid.

"Damn Leah," Jacob panted, tracing a finger on my cheek. I look down at the counter. If only I could tell him. "Something wrong?"

"No," I lied.

"Leah,"

"Just drop it," I muttered. I ran to the door before the idiot was blocking me. "Can you please move?"

"You're just going to leave like that?" Jake asked.

"Fine." I said. "I'll go get some of Rachael's old clothes. Happy?" I'll sneak out of the window. When I got to the room, I quickly closed the door on Jacob's face.

"Hey!"

"Whatever." I said.

I went out the window and phased into wolf. I was undecided if I wanted to die as Leah Clearwater the human or Leah Clearwater the grey wolf? I guess human Leah should get one more chance before death.

By the time I got to the edge of the cliff, the waves were getting stronger by the strong wind and the rain. The cliffs were like a black knife, edging against the sky. The image of me falling, spiraling figures was still vivid in my mind. The ocean sounded very far away, somehow farther than before, when I was on the path in the trees. I grimaced when I thought of the temperature of the water.

But wasn't going to let that stop me.

I step out closer to the edge, keeping my eyes on the empty space in front of me. My toes felt ahead blindly, caressing the edge of the rock when they encounter it. I felt the sharp edge of the rock cut the bottom of my foot. I leaned forward, crouching to get more spring…

And I flung myself off this cliff.

I screamed as I was falling in the open air like some meteor. The water was icy, colder than I'd expected, but I didn't care. When the currents finally caught me, I plunged deeper into the dark ocean. Even under water, the waves were fighting over me, jerking me back and forth.

Death has finally claimed me.

* * *

><p><strong>Jacob<strong>

I heard the window break in Rachael's old room. I busted the door down only to find that Leah took off.

"Leah!" I called.

There was a piece of paper on the bed, it reads:

_Jake, I know I gave you and the pack a hard time, especially Sam. I just couldn't stand it. It was too much for me to handle. But it would be best for everyone to live his or her lives without me. And I wanted to say is that I love you. Death would be better than life._

_Sorry, Leah._

Death would be better than life. I phased into wolf and followed her scent. When I got to the cliffs, I could hear her crying.

"Sorry if you hate me." She said to herself.

And then she took a large leap off the cliff.

On instinct, rushed after her and to a jump off the cliff. The fall was fast as I phased back to human. As soon as I hit the surface of the water, the currents pushes me into underwater. To a normal human, being in these water has to be extremely cold. But this was like bathwater to me.

I saw Leah going deeper into the darkness of the ocean floor. I quickly swam, trying to reach for her. Finally, I grab her by her arm, pulling Leah closer to my chest and swam straight for the surface.

I pull us to the shore. I turn her around to her back.

I have to save her! She couldn't just die! Not now! So I started to perform CPR. I push hard on her chest then gave her mouth-to-mouth. Her lips were so cold and hard. Laying my head to her chest, I didn't hear anything.

"Breathe!" My voice was fill with anxiety, wild, and order. I kept on doing this until the water was pouring from out of her mouth. She caught her breath and gasped, jerking forward with her chest.

She was breathing, slowly and labor, but still she was breathing. Again, I lay my head against her chest, relieved.

She groaned.

"What the hell were you thinking?" I asked.

"That I wanted to die." She said. "I though that it was clear when I jumped off the cliff."

"But you could have told me." I said. She rolls her eyes. Typical Leah.

"You wouldn't understand." She said bitterly.

I place my hand under her chin to force her to look at me. Those soft brown eyes held so much pain and suffering because of a simple heartbreak. She was fighting back the tears.

"Don't treat me like I'm glass." She said.

"Oh honey. Its okay to break." I said.

Leah started to hit me with all of her force, but it was useless against me. I pull her into my arms for embrace. She stops and does something that would shock the whole world: crying. The tough Leah Clearwater was crying.

"I hate you."

"No, you don't." I said. "You love me."

"God, you are so annoying, do anyone tell you that?" She asked. I could see a smile on her face.

"I tell myself all the time." I laughed.

After a long silence, she finally has spoken. "Maybe I should go home."

"You should stay with me." I said, still holding her. "Until you can think straight."

"Sounds okay. And Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"You're right. I do love you."

"So do I. Leah, I love you too."

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><p><strong>PLEASE REVIEW! Should I go on into a two shot, muti-chap or single?<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay this went from a one-shot to a two shot unless you guys think I should make this into a multi-chapter story. I made this for MioneWriter007, so here it is.  
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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Staying with Jacob<strong>

**Leah**

** **

Jacob though it would be best if he carried me, bridal style, backs to his house. His words echoes through my mind over-_I love you. _I though I that Sam loved me. I laughed darkly. Boy, I was stupid as hell for believing him.

My head rested on Jacob's shoulder. I could still smell sea salt on both of our skins. The walk itself was very slow. In aggravation, I moved around a lot in his arms.

"Something wrong?" Jake asked. Why did he ask me a dumb question?

"What do you think?" I snapped.

"Hey I'm just asking." He said. I saw his eye glance at me. I had forgotten that I was nude. The blush stole over my cheeks as we caught each other's glaze. I quickly shook it off and gave him a death glare. He gave me his cocky grin.

"Eyes off me please." I gritted.

"I know that's Leah talk for "I love you." Jacob said.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes.

There was a long, awkward silence between us. The only sounds we could hear was the birds in the trees, the ocean waves, and Jacob's loud footsteps breaking twigs and hard dirt.

It was Jake who broke the silence. "So do you want to…you know…."

I huffed. "What…oh…how I was almost successful at ending my life but you fucked it all up for everybody?"

"How _I _fucked it all up for everybody?" Jacob said.

"Yeah, I'm not stupid, Jacob Black." I said. "I know you, Sam, Jared, Paul, Embry, Quil, Collin, and Brady wish that I was gone."

"But not dead." Jacob said.

When we got to his room, Jacob gently lays me down on his queen size mattress and throws this giant red quit over my raw skin. I jump in surprise as to how warm it felt against my skin, it was very was very soothing.

Jacob lies down next to me and wraps his arms around my waist. I automatically tense up against him. I could feel his breathe against my neck then he began to nuzzle it. It kept me calm. Jacob did this for a while before I soon fell asleep.

_ _

* * *

**Jacob**

** **

When I began nuzzling Leah's neck, she went straight to sleep. Well with all the shit that just happened today, she should be wrecked. I still couldn't believe that Leah would try to kill herself. I knew that she was in a lot of pain because of Harry's death, Sam and Emily's relationship, and phasing into a wolf. Not to mention being in the same pack as Sam listening to his thoughts about Emily.

She was in real pain. I didn't think that it was too much to handle.

Leah's body became tense when I pressed my body into hers. She whimpers a little. Again I nuzzled in her neck to soothe her. This eased Leah. Now I have another problem to deal with: Alpha Sam and the pack, and Sue. How the hell is Leah going to explain this? If she can without having a mental breakdown. Most of all, how can I tell them that I am in love with Leah Clearwater? I have to go on patrol tonight, including Leah. I really don't know if she's up for that. Maybe I should tell Sam what happen and hopefully he'll understand and let poor Leah off until she's better.

Well knowing how Leah wants to show everyone how tough and independent she is, I'll leave that to her. But I'll back her up if need.

My stomach began to rumble real loud. "Leah's sleep."

But my tummy didn't care; all it cared about at this moment is some food to digest. I slowly unwrap my arms from Leah's waist. She moves so that she is on her backside. One arm rested on her stomach while the other one hangs off the bed.

I quietly walked into the kitchen to find some grub. I went through the cabinets and found some stale Fruit Loops, Captain Crunch, Raisin Brand Crunch, etc. I went to the refrigerator and smelled the turkey salami. I made a turkey salami sandwich with pepper jack cheese and some sandwich dressing.

Then I heard Leah screaming. I hurried back into my room to find her thrashing around in the bed. She was having a nightmare. I pinned her wrist together.

"Leah! Wake up!" I ordered.

I was shaking her by the shoulders. Her eyes snapped wide open. She was breathing real heavy. I pulled her in for an embrace. She started to cry.

"It's okay." I told her.

"Why does this shit keep happening to me?" She cursed. "Sorry that I scared you, scary cat."

I laughed. "I'm a big brave wolf dog."

"Whatever."

** **

**Leah**

** **

_I was walking alone in the forest. I wore a bright red sundress and barefoot. The ground was cold and soft. I heard a faint sound of footsteps; I snapped my head on alert. I couldn't see the danger but I could only feel and hear it__. __I looked behind me and jumped, my heart beating rapidly as I seen this vampire's hand come near my face. I pushed it away. His crimson eyes watching every move I made._

_"What are you doing?" I stuttered frightened. For some reason, his beauty seems to have a spell on me._

_ _

_"Admiring your beauty my dear," He spoke with a hint of longing lingered his tone. _

_ _

_His hand brushed my cheek and his lips came in contact with the other. This time, my whole body shook. His lips moved over to mine and I tried to pull myself back, he was too strong. I wanted to push him away, to yell and scream to not touch me. His hand was placed behind my head as if to keep me still as his lips manipulated mine, trying to pry them open. I felt tears bubble up into my eyes as I pushed on my chest with all my might but he was stronger. Why was he doing this?_

_He heard the thought and whispered softly against my lips, "Because I love you my sweet." My chest heaved with oncoming sobs_

_He kept his hold on my body as his free hand explored with anticipation and hunger. I felt my red dress be torn from my body leaving me naked and vulnerable for him to do anything. I was defenseless because I couldn't phase._

_ _

_"Please stop." I begged him. I felt his fangs on my neck. _

_ _

_He bites me._

_ _

And that's how I ended up in Jacob's arms. I felt like a little girl. And now he thinks I need to be around him 24/7 because I tried to kill this bullshit nightmare and now myself.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks me.

I signs. "No, Jake."

"How about so T.V.? Family Guy got some new episodes." Jake said with a grin. He gives me Rachael's old clothes.

I roll my eyes. "Fine."

We both sat on the couch. I was laying my head on his lap as his arm hugs my shoulder. I admit, this was somewhat awkward for me. I had no reasons to why, it just does. I got annoyed at lying on his lap so I propped myself to sit up. And out of now where, his lips were pressing against mines.

"Leah?" Came Sam's voice.


	3. Chapter 3

** Here's Chapter 3. Wow I can't believe this story has 500 hits and 300 visitors. And the reviews are the reason I turned this into a full story. Keep the reviews coming.  
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><p><strong>Chapter 3: Telling Sam<strong>

**Leah**

Oh shit. If it isn't Sam Uley. What the hell is he doing here? Wait how did he get in here in the first place, sneaking in? That's breaking and entering. God this can't be good.

I slowly turned to face him. He was shirtless with those cut-off jeans and some dirty, old white sneakers. His eyes were wide with a hint of anger and his mouth was sealed shut. I rolled my eyes. Serves him right for breaking me heart.

"Leah…." Sam said.

"Well I'm not the fucking Easter bunny, am I?" I said sarcastically.

Jacob got up quickly. "Listen Sam there's something I have to tell you…err…. Leah does."

I got up as well. "Jake you don't need to explain."

"Yes, I do."

"Why?"

"Because it looks like Sam is about to phase now for catching one of his pack brothers kissing his ex-girlfriend." Jacob said.

I focus my attention to Sam who was shaking a little. "It hurts, doesn't it? To see the person who was suppose to love you with someone else you cared about."

Sam squeezed his eyes shut tightly as if trying to control his rage down. He took a deep breath and the shaking stops. "Leah, I'm sorry-"

"Samuel Uley, I'm sick and tired of hearing that!" I snapped. "You don't know the pain I was feeling when I saw you and Emily. The deepest black hole also known as my heart was cause by you and that stupid imprint! And you know what? I jumped off a cliff because of you!"

"What?" Was that all he could say. I started to feel myself shake. All the rage and pain was rushing through my veins and I was feeding off that. I just want to rip his arrogant head off…

"Leah, please calm down." Jacob begs.

I did as he old me. My eyes never left Sam's.

"Leah, I really didn't know that you were feeling…that bad." Sam said.

"Sam we all hear each other's though everyday," Jacob interjected. "You knew how she was feeling. Hell we all knew but chose to ignore it. This was my fault as well as yours for not noticing."

Way to go Jacob! At least someone in this damn room was being honest, unlike some people I know.

Sam remains silent.

"Just leave," I mutter.

"Sam I think it would be best if Leah is off patrol for a while." Jacob said.

"Okay." Sam said. And before he leaves he turns to face me. His cold dark eyes stare at me. I look away.

The door slams close. I look back at Jake. He was grinning. Typical Jacob Black. I have to admit, this cocky grin was making a smile on my face. When I look at Jake, reminds me of an older version of Seth.

"Wow." Jacob breathes.

"You can say that again." I said.

"Wow." He said again.

"Figure of speech, stupid." I said.

"I love you too." Jacob said.

"You what I'm tired." I yawned.

It happened so fast my mind had no time to react. Jacob scoops me up and tosses me over his shoulders. For once in my life, I laughed. It felt really good to laugh with such joy and happiness.

"It's nice to hear that." Jacob said as he took me into his room.

"What?"

"You laughing like a happy person." Jacob said, throwing me on the bed. "It's so…. not you."

"Ha. Funny. Not." I gritted.

I was still struck by how beautiful he was. His dark eyes were so expressive, lit up in amusement. His full lips were stretched into his sunny Jacob smile.

My smile.

His long arms were gesticulating as he got more animated. His hair had gotten longer. It was lightly brushing against his ears now.

There was this new feeling I was getting. I couldn't explain it. Jacob was making me feel like I was love and wanted. Something Sam violently took away from me and gave it to Emily on a silver platter. When I though about them together, the anger and pain didn't bother me as much as it use to.

Was I moving on?

And if I was, then that's a good thing. I'm tired of being angry and bitter. I glance out his window. It was dark purple with scattered stars all over the place. It was pretty beautiful.

I felt m eyelids getting heavier. Damn I'm sleepy as hell. Honestly I didn't want to go to sleep because of that leech was in my dreams. Well nightmare was the correct term for it. The crazy thong about it was that I was drawn to him because of his beauty which was strange because 1.) I am a shape-shifter and 2.) Vampires and shape-shifters are enemies. Besides when I look at the Cullen boys, especially Dr. Fang, I'm not drawn to them like the way I was with dream leech.

"Leah?" I heard Jacob's voice before my vision went blurry. His voice was fading away. I was trying to fight the urge to sleep. His figure was a blurry brownish image. I could see his hand waving. Now I know the pain of being a pothead. God is this what they be seeing?

_"Leah."_

Oh fuck me. Please don't let it be him. Please! Please! Don't let it be him! I blinked once, just once, and instead of Jacob in my face, it's the fucking rapist leech.

"Get the fuck away from me!" I snarled.

He cocked his head to the side and laughed darkly. I heard a deep rumbling sound coming from his throat. I tried to hit him but my hands were glued to the damn mattress. I looked away from him.

_"Look at me!" He orders._

Strangely I did. What was wrong with me? I felt his cold fingertips on my outer thighs, his hard smooth lips on my cheek, inhaling my scent.

He then looks at me with his dark red eyes. It was the freakiest thing I ever seen. He smiles at me. I tried to scream but my throat was dry, making a rasping sound. Great I'm about to be the werewolf bride of Dracula.

_"I can take you away from all the pain." _

"No." I said, trying to hide the fear.

_"I know you're scared of me, Leah Clearwater." He said. _"But I will make you mines."__

I awakened with sweat all over my body and sheets. I was alone in the bed. There was a note sitting on Jacob's nightstand. I read it.

_Leah,_

_Sorry but had to do double patrol since you couldn't do it._

_Love Jacob._

I balled it up. I really need him to be with me now since that nightmare has totally freaked me out. Now I know what its like to be a victim of Freddy Kruger. To have the same asshole leech in my dreams is not a good thing.

I really don't want to go back to sleep. All I did was play his words over and over: _But I will make you mines._

Was this something to worry about?

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><p><strong>So should there be a real vampire coming after her? If so, I'll have either Aro, Caius, or Marcus messing with her mind. Don't worry there will be JacobLeah.**


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